Sunday, February 27, 2005

Lisa at 36 weeks!!!

A real treat - Lisa in the kitchen genuinely cooking. Really. I know you don't believe me but it's true. Promise.

NCT Update - Week 5

Week 5 NCT classes consisted of 'Visualisation and Relaxation' (I kid ye not!).

The first part involved the women pretending to be in labour and the men giving relaxing advise and massage. There quickly became two approaches to this amongst the men - first the more serious, helping their partners, talking to them, massaging, telling them to relax etc. I found myself falling into a second school of thought. Staring round the room thinking what a load of boll**ks.

Lisa is hoping I'm rather better at the time of the birth.

The second part of the class was 'baby massage' - now this apparently is a proven technique to help bonding and relaxation. The full course lasts weeks, but we were privileged enough to have a half hour taster session. The instructor (obviously very hippy - likely to be vegan, or even fruitarian, wore hemp) handed out plastic baby's for us to practice - all was going really well up to the foot massage. I had found myself drifting off and losing the thread a little - but was brought back into line by the instructor as I was foot massaging the 'baby' while resting it on it's head with the foot comfortably at waist level. Great for me, apparently less than ideal for the baby.

Lisa is doing really well - very healthy, and actually slimmed down everywhere other than the increasing bump. Now in the final run up to b-day and all feeling quite real. I think we're as ready as we can be. Lisa is preparing a 'hospital bag' for the birth - consists of all the mother and baby will need at the hospital. My contribution is two bottles of Champagne and plastic cups, not terribly practical granted, but I bet will be enjoyed!!!

Oh - and Chelsea have at least one piece of silverware this year. Now there's a nice name - Chelsea, or Jose. Lisa's behind me - I'm stopping now.

Sunday, February 13, 2005




Little Monkey's first clothes

Tuesday, February 08, 2005

NCT Update - Class 4


Relaxation techniques (heavy breathing)
2nd stage labour (the pushing bit…)
Drugs (yes please!)

After last week’s fiasco with the holistic aromatherapy codswallop, I was quite glad for the class to be back to some kind of relative normality for a fun-fuelled 2hrs of educating the masses on what drugs work the best. Not only do we not have to pay for them, we get quite a choice!! Main alternatives being: 1) Epidural (the horrid needle in the back that numbs you from waist down) 2) Pethidine (similar to morphine and makes you high) 3) Gas & Air (reserved for Spencer) 4) TENS machine (electrical pads – not to be used in the bath as someone warned us from a previous experience...) 5) Natural birth (yeah right….) – So at least now we are fully armed with enough facts to allow us to make an informed choice about the pain relief I WILL be taking….

The relaxation techniques involved 8 ladies leaning over birthing balls with their significant sized arses in the air, panting like a dog and pushing your pelvic floor so hard you break wind (or was that just me?). Spencer has definitely got the hang of massaging my back so I will be counting on him when the time finally comes. From what I hear though, being touched by ANYONE whilst in labour results in ‘colourful’ language being used to which I am unaccustomed, so massage may not be on the agenda. I wouldn’t want to taint my ladylike image now would I?

Other pregnancy news includes Spence and me touring the labour ward at Poole Hospital so we now know where I will be giving birth. They are reasonably sized delivery rooms which are currently being fitted with TV’s. There’s not many things I would miss Corrie for…….We were also shown the ‘theatre’ even though the midwife that showed us round giggled reassuringly that anything going wrong rarely happened (yes, she was strange!) We were also given the option of a birthing pool which resembled one of those old tubs you see in films. I was thinking it was going to be like the one they had in Men Behaving Badly that time with floating beer and ash-trays. We also tried looking for the fishing nets that they use to fish out any floaters when you’re in labour (can you imagine? I would just DIE of embarrassment). Needless to say I won’t be using the pool option.

Sunday, February 06, 2005

Bump at 33 weeks...

Lisa - 33 weeks

Tuesday, February 01, 2005

Week 32 - Update....

My 2nd birth partner (otherwise known as Mum) came with me to the NCT ante-natal class tonight and I have to say that Spence certainly chose the right night to escape !! His original fears of a happy clappy hippy forum came true tonight when we had 45 minutes of someone teaching us aromatherapy massage with essential oils - or not so essential oils as Mum and me both decided. I have to admit that after watching no end of "Portland Babies" on Discovery Health, teamed with these NCT classes, that I have now made an informed decision that 'holistic' alternative medicines aren't for me. I will be hitting the hard drugs as soon as possible. The only piece of useful information in our 45 minute session with 'Phillipa' was finding out that sniffing Clary Sage oil is similar to smoking marujana, making you feel off your head. Mum proceeded to get her pen out at this stage and write this information down....(not sure why?) The 2nd part of the class concentrated on the different ways of parenting. This ranged from a very regimented routine based view (Gina Ford) to a full-on tribal view of let the baby walk into fires and fall down holes, as it's the only way they will learn kinda thing. Needless to say most of the group agreed on trusting in your own instincts when baby is finally here and not to stick too rigidly to any book. Other pregnancy related news is that I have now reduced my working week to 3-days with my last official day of work being 3 March. I have spent my first day off painting the nursery with my good friend Linde, who came in incredibly useful for climbing ladders and reaching the hard to reach places. The nursery furniture has now turned up and I now require one big, strong man to put it all together for me... please reply if you know of anyone? Anyway, that's all the news for now. I'll get Spence to take another "Readers Wives" photo of me at the weekend at 33 weeks.